![](\"https:\/\/www.nicknotas.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Class_is_in_Session.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Men love a good challenge. When we have to work for something, we see it as more valuable. We tend not to appreciate what\u2019s handed to us as much.<\/p>\n
Think about every good story ever written. It focuses on the hero\u2019s journey. The main character must face some struggle which makes his victory that much sweeter.\u00a0 If there was no tension, no battle, nothing to work for \u2014 it would be\u2026boring.<\/p>\n
The same goes for dating. A lot of men complain that they don\u2019t want women to play any games. They just want them to be upfront. But what we say can be different than what we respond to.<\/p>\n
When\u00a0a woman is too available or shows too much interest early on, many men become hesitant. They question why things are so easy. And they are less attracted because of it.<\/p>\n
So on many occasions, women are forced to challenge men in order to win their affection. And you need to be ready for when that happens. School is in session.<\/p>\n
The simplest definition I can think of is\u2026<\/p>\n
Any action in which a woman tries to determine whether or not you\u2019re confident in yourself and your intentions.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
It\u2019s no secret that confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in a man. So women want you to prove that you\u2019re the real deal.<\/p>\n
They wants to know if you\u2019re the hero\u2026or just another guy.<\/p>\n
And that may threaten you. Maybe you don\u2019t like being put on the spot. Maybe you take it as a personal attack. You think a woman is purposely trying to put you down.<\/p>\n
What you\u2019re missing is that much of the time when a woman tests you, it\u2019s because she\u2019s<\/em> interested<\/em>. It\u2019s playful flirting. Because she\u2019s feeling attracted to you, she wants to make sure you\u2019re really who you say you are. Women test guys they see potential in.<\/p>\n
These tests are usually unconscious, too. It can be a\u00a0natural reaction when some women feel insecure or are trying to impress you. So they project those insecurities outward as a defense mechanism.<\/p>\n
Why it\u2019s important to pass these tests<\/h3>\n
Women want men who are comfortable with their identity and value themselves. They don\u2019t want good \u201cactors\u201d, or men who are secretly insecure and overcompensate to hide it.<\/p>\n
When you fail a test, you\u2019re showing a woman that she has shaken you and maybe you\u2019re not as confident as you let on.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re also showing that it\u2019s easy to get to you and you can\u2019t roll with the punches. You\u2019re not able to laugh at yourself or throw it back at her. Basically, you can\u2019t keep up with a woman who\u2019s flirting with you.<\/p>\n
Confident men can deal with any situation that comes up.\u00a0They love themselves. So in any tough moment\u00a0they just have to be unashamedly themselves. There\u2019s nothing sexier or more masculine.<\/p>\n
What do women challenge men on?<\/h3>\n
\n
- Physical appearance.\u00a0<\/strong>I\u2019m 5\u20198\u2033 and always have looked much<\/em> younger than my age. Even in my mid 20\u2019s, I basically looked I was in high school. Women would tease me about this all the time.<\/li>\n
- Masculinity.\u00a0<\/strong>Sometimes a girl will challenge you to step up to the plate to prove how strong or courageous you are.\n
Maybe she says you couldn\u2019t beat her in a game of pool if your life depended on it. Maybe you tell her that you\u2019re going to slap\u00a0her butt if she doesn\u2019t stop teasing you. and she replies\u00a0\u201cyou don\u2019t have the guts.\u201d<\/li>\n
- Hobbies and interests.\u00a0<\/strong>When you confess that you read comics or that Bojack Horseman\u00a0is your favorite TV show, girls might give you shit for your \u201cnerdy\u201d taste.<\/li>\n
- Views.\u00a0<\/strong>Opposing viewpoints can cause a bit of tension, especially if those viewpoints are important to a woman. Religion and politics often trigger those feelings. She wants your reassurance that even if you have different opinions, it won\u2019t be a big deal. That you can embrace your own while embracing hers, or at least have a mature discussion on it.<\/li>\n
- Sexuality.\u00a0<\/strong>Many women have been spoon-fed that indulging in their sexual desires early on is wrong. It triggers shame \u2014 especially if they\u2019re starting to get turned on sooner than they expected with a guy. So when you start being more forward with your flirting or sexual conversation, she throws up a wall.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
How to fail her tests<\/h3>\n
It all starts with your frame of mind. You can\u2019t take these challenges personally. You can\u2019t assume she\u2019s trying to hurt or reject you. If you do, you\u2019ll inevitably be responding the wrong way.<\/p>\n
Here are the most common ways I\u2019ve found guys fail tests:<\/p>\n
\n
- Feel ashamed or deny.\u00a0<\/strong>Why are you feeling bad for who you are or what you like? Don\u2019t lie, hide, or deny. It shows you\u2019re not congruent with your identity. If you see yourself in a negative light, I guarantee she will, too.<\/li>\n
- Apologize.\u00a0<\/strong>If you\u2019re not intentionally hurting someone or being malicious \u2014 there\u2019s nothing to apologize for. Once you apologize, you confirm that there is<\/em> something wrong about whatever it is she tested you.<\/li>\n
- Get defensive or angry.\u00a0<\/strong>Going on the offensive is never the answer. Especially if she WAS flirting with you, attacking her will instantly make her regret even joking with you. It will also scare her into thinking you\u2019re a guy who\u2019s going to flip out whenever you\u2019re challenged. There\u2019s nothing like insulting a woman to make her dry up.<\/li>\n
- Justify or explain yourself seriously.\u00a0<\/strong>Why do you need to justify something about yourself, especially to a stranger? You owe no one an explanation for who you are. By doing so, you reinforce that you\u2019re not as sure of yourself as you let on.<\/li>\n
- Go silent and start pouting.\u00a0<\/strong>If you get all quiet and tense, you\u2019re showing her you can\u2019t handle your emotions. You\u2019ll just shut down and get upset whenever anything difficult gets thrown your way. Real men speak up or talk through things, they don\u2019t cross their arms and pout like a toddler.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
How to pass her tests<\/h3>\n
It\u2019s simple \u2014 assume her challenges are signs of flirting. Assume she\u2019s doing it because deep down, she likes you.<\/p>\n
\n
- Own it.\u00a0<\/strong>That could mean owning your intentions, sexuality, values, and more. You acknowledge her assessment or challenge openly without shame or hesitation. You hold your ground in a positive or playful manner.<\/li>\n
- Make a joke of it.\u00a0<\/strong>Having a sense of humor shows you can laugh at the situation and yourself. That you\u2019re not taking anything personally and are letting it all roll right off you.\u00a0 You can be silly, use exaggeration, or even indulge in some light self-deprecation.<\/li>\n
- Tease or return the challenge.\u00a0<\/strong>Give her back a taste of her own medicine with a smirk.\u00a0 You demonstrate that you can play the game and in fact, you\u2019re enjoying it. It\u2019s like kids on a playground back in the day. Girls and boys generally teased the people they secretly liked.<\/li>\n
- Call her out or express your boundaries with tact.\u00a0<\/strong>If a woman is really starting to talk down or patronize you, you don\u2019t have to just shut up and take it. Too many guys want to avoid any conflict and instead let it boil up inside.\n
You don\u2019t need to insult or attack her, though. All you need to do is show her how she\u2019s misjudging you, turning you off, or acting insecure.<\/p>\n
The point is, you have to express that you\u2019re not attracted to that kind of attitude. And if she continues, she\u2019s going to lose you.<\/p>\n
I never want to intentionally embarrass anyone. But sometimes it\u2019s useful to make them someone self-aware of how inappropriate they\u2019re acting. I\u2019ve called out women before for being rude and immediately had them apologizing.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Examples to ace those tests<\/h3>\n
She says\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re too short for me.\u201d<\/em> (Physical appearance)<\/p>\n
Bad response:<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m not that short \u2013 5\u20198\u2033 is still average.\u201d (Justifying) \u201cWell, I like my height.\u201d (Being defensive)<\/p>\n
Good response: <\/strong>\u201cC\u2019mon, you can do better than that!\u201d (Teasing) \u201cYou\u2019re right, you\u2019re definitely too tall for me.\u201d * (Challenging her)<\/p>\n
\u2014<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you even legal here?\u201d <\/em>(Physical appearance)<\/p>\n
Bad response:\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cYeah\u2026uh\u2026I turned 21 like last year. I just have always looked young.\u201d (Explain yourself seriously)<\/p>\n
Good response: <\/em><\/strong>\u201cAww, I\u2019m flattered\u00a0 you think I look so young.\u201d <\/em>(Owning it) \u201cNah, I actually have a really good fake ID. Shhh, don\u2019t tell anyone.\u201d<\/em> (Sarcastic joke)<\/p>\n
\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n
\u201cAww is someone sad I beat them?\u201d\u00a0<\/em>(Masculinity)<\/p>\n
Bad response:\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cWhatever, I wasn\u2019t trying anyway.\u201d (Getting angry, being a sore loser)<\/p>\n
Good response:<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cYou have no<\/em> idea, I\u2019m totally going to\u00a0cry myself to sleep for the next three days.\u201d (Exaggerating) \u201cYeah, I\u2019m so heartbroken. I think you need to hold me and kiss me and make me feel all better.\u201d (Owning it)<\/p>\n
\u2014<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t believe you actually watch that show [Bojack Horseman].\u201d<\/em> (Interests)<\/p>\n
Bad response:<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t watch it that much.\u201d (Denying) \u201cWell\u2026it\u2019s not like a kid\u2019s cartoon or anything, it\u2019s for adults.\u201d (Justifying yourself)<\/p>\n
Good response:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cUmm,\u00a0you do realize that Will Arnett is fucking hilarious, right?\u201d (Owning your interests) \u00a0\u201cAdmit it, you just don\u2019t have the confidence to love your nerdy side.\u201d (Teasing her)<\/p>\n
\u2014<\/p>\n
\u201cOh don\u2019t tell me you\u2019re a huge pothead.\u201d<\/em> (Interests)<\/p>\n
Bad response:\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cI don\u2019t smoke that much and it doesn\u2019t affect me day-to-day.\u201d (Justifying yourself) \u201cDon\u2019t judge me, I work hard for my money and can do what I want with it.\u201d (Getting angry)<\/p>\n
Good response:\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cSays the girl with a Long Island iced tea in her hand.\u201d (Calling her out) \u201cNo, I\u2019m just a normal sized pothead.\u201d (Joking)<\/p>\n
\u2014<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re naive\u00a0to\u00a0think that any sex is good sex.\u201d<\/em> (Being patronizing towards your views)<\/p>\n
Bad response: *<\/strong>Stops talking\u00a0and feels stupid* (Being\u00a0ashamed and going silent)<\/p>\n
Good response:<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cWhen I\u2019m involved, it always is. *smile*\u201d (Owning your sexuality) \u201cOh get off your high horse, maybe you\u2019ve just always had terrible sex.\u201d (Calling her out)<\/p>\n
\u2014<\/p>\n
You ask a girl an intimate question and she says,\u201dWhy are you asking that?\u201d <\/em>(Sexuality)<\/p>\n
Bad response: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019m sorry, I wasn\u2019t trying to pry.\u201d (Apologizing) \u201cOh god, that must have come\u00a0off so wrong.\u201d (Feeling ashamed)<\/p>\n
Good response:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cBecause sexuality is a whole lot of fun to talk about. *smile*\u201d (Owning your sexuality) \u201cObviously because I\u2019m trying\u00a0to get to know you, duh.\u201d (Challenging her)<\/p>\n
\u2014<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you trying to pick me up?\u201d <\/em>(Sexuality)<\/p>\n
Bad response: <\/strong>\u201cNo, no I\u2019m just being friendly.\u201d (Denying)<\/p>\n
Good response:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cThat all depends \u2014 is it working?\u201d (Being silly)\u00a0\u201cI deadlift 330\u00a0\u2014 I could throw you over my shoulder like nothing.\u201d (Joking)\u00a0\u201cOf course I am, but I want to get to know you first, too.\u201d (Owning your intentions) \u201c<\/p>\n
\u2014<\/p>\n
You flirt with her and she says, \u201cYou know I\u2019m not sleeping with you tonight, right?\u201d <\/em>(Sexuality)<\/p>\n
Bad response:<\/strong> \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.\u201d (Apologizing)<\/p>\n
Good response: <\/strong>\u201cSlow down lady, I\u2019m not that easy.\u201d (Challenging her) \u201cHaha, you say that now\u2026\u201d (Owning your intentions) \u201cOf course, sex is always better on the second date.\u201d (Owning your frame of mind)<\/p>\n
\u2014<\/p>\n
It\u2019s time you start giving all\u00a0the right answers and show women\u00a0how much of a catch you are.<\/p>\n
Class dismissed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Men love a good challenge. When we have to work for something, we see it as more valuable. We tend not to appreciate what\u2019s handed to us as much. Think about every good story ever written. It focuses on the hero\u2019s journey. The main character must face some struggle which makes his victory that much […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-286","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-flirting"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/286","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=286"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/286\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":288,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/286\/revisions\/288"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=286"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=286"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=286"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}