{"id":313,"date":"2020-01-26T08:33:45","date_gmt":"2020-01-26T08:33:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/?p=313"},"modified":"2020-01-26T08:33:45","modified_gmt":"2020-01-26T08:33:45","slug":"the-mindset-you-need-to-talk-to-any-woman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/the-mindset-you-need-to-talk-to-any-woman\/","title":{"rendered":"The Mindset You Need to Talk to Any Woman"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

Being able to introduce yourself to new people is arguably the biggest determining factor in a man\u2019s dating success. This one ability does so much for you.<\/p>\n

If you say hi to one new person a month, you have one chance of making a connection. Say hi to five people and you\u2019ve drastically weighed the odds in your favor.<\/p>\n

Approaching helps you destroy your social anxiety by gaining experience. You get used to awkward moments and don\u2019t take rejections so personally. You don\u2019t place so much importance on individual interactions and instead cultivate an\u00a0abundance\u00a0mentality<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

All this enables you to be more confident in your social abilities. You\u2019re more prepared to choose right person when you\u2019re ready \u2013 not just desperately settle for whoever\u2019s available.<\/p>\n

Then why is this essential skill so difficult for men to master?<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve probably consumed dozens of articles and YouTube videos on the subject. You may have countless examples of the perfect opening lines. You may even have had friends try to help you.<\/p>\n

And if you\u2019re reading this, you probably still regret psyching yourself out of opportunities every single week.<\/p>\n

The problem isn\u2019t a lack of knowledge or needing more pre-planned material.\u00a0You just need to build a mindset that encourages you to approach in a natural, healthy way.<\/p>\n

The fear that holds you back doesn\u2019t have to<\/h3>\n

Most men tell me they don\u2019t approach for three main reasons:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You feel you\u2019re doing something wrong or shameful. <\/strong>You don\u2019t want to creep a girl out or make her feel like you\u2019re hitting on her. You don\u2019t want to bother her. You\u2019re worried what your friends, her friends, or people nearby might think.<\/li>\n
  2. You don\u2019t know what to say. <\/strong>You can\u2019t seem to find the right words. You feel like you don\u2019t know how to approach without something really cool or engaging to say.<\/li>\n
  3. You\u2019re worried about being rejected. <\/strong>You don\u2019t want to face that moment when she shows you she\u2019s not interested. Maybe you think she might even be harsh or disgusted.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    But what if I could make all these hurdles disappear?<\/p>\n

    It starts by understanding all these problems are bullshit and don\u2019t have to exist. They\u2019re only real because of the way you view talking to new women.<\/p>\n

    Let me give you some examples. You\u2019ve probably even been in situations similar to the following:<\/p>\n

    What if you got lost somewhere and had to get to an important appointment? You look around and the only person who can help you is a beautiful girl. You would likely ask for her help without hesitation.<\/p>\n

    What\u00a0if you overheard a girl next to you talking about one of your favorite bands? Is there a good chance you\u2019d get excited to tell her how you\u2019ve seen them twice and they were incredible live?<\/p>\n

    Imagine you saw an attractive woman fall down on the street and she dropped her things. You probably wouldn\u2019t hesitate to help her and make her feel better about it.<\/p>\n

    So really, you\u2019re not always afraid of approaching attractive women because in the right context, you\u2019d talk to them. That\u2019s the missing piece to all of this.<\/p>\n

    The \u201cconquest\u201d mindset is the root of your struggles<\/h3>\n

    \"Brave<\/p>\n

    The real issue is that when you see a girl you want to talk to, you\u2019re subconsciously trying to\u00a0win her approval.<\/p>\n

    You want her to like you in the same way that you find her attractive. Which deep down, also means you\u2019re thinking about her in a sexual way.<\/p>\n

    That mindset causes all this anxiety. When you\u2019re approaching a woman as just a conquest, of course you\u2019re going to feel like you\u2019re doing something shady!<\/p>\n

    It makes you feel like a predator. It makes you feel like you\u2019re trying to coerce or manipulate a girl into wanting you.<\/p>\n

    Then inherently, you\u2019re going start thinking of manufactured lines to achieve that goal because you\u2019re not in the moment organically trying to connect. This further makes you feel disingenuous and like a fraud.<\/p>\n

    Finally, you\u2019re going to be overwhelmed by the fear of rejection because that\u2019s<\/em> the only thing that matters with your current mindset.<\/p>\n

    So you need to change your intentions <\/em>to fix your mindset.<\/p>\n

    In those earlier scenarios when you weren\u2019t worried about saying hi to a girl, getting approval wasn\u2019t your primary goal. You were trying to CONNECT with her.<\/p>\n

    You just needed help. Or you were trying to help. Or you were so damn enthusiastic about meeting someone with a commonality you didn\u2019t hesitate.<\/p>\n

    In those moments, you\u2019re being a normal human being so there\u2019s nothing to feel bad about.<\/p>\n

    You can utilize those same intention to connect to proactively meet women. But you can\u2019t pretend to be there for more than her approval, you actually have to feel<\/u> that way.<\/p>\n

    You need to FEEL like going up to this girl is healthy and a positive experience for both of you.<\/p>\n

    Set yourself up to develop\u00a0a \u201cconnection\u201d mindset instead<\/h3>\n

    You need to set yourself up to naturally have better intentions when approaching.<\/p>\n

    If you\u2019re always just walking around, obsessing about talking to girls, it\u2019s damn near impossible to build that healthy mindset. You can\u2019t stroll through the mall checking out every girl out and feel like,\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m totally not objectifying these women.\u201d<\/p>\n

    I believe, at least to begin with, you should get involved with hobbies, outdoor activities, communities, sports, and events that are interesting to you.<\/p>\n

    That means enjoying what you\u2019re doing regardless<\/em> of whether or not you\u2019re meeting women. You can find activities that are fun, challenging, or important for your personal growth.<\/p>\n

    When doing this, you\u2019ll automatically be more charismatic because you\u2019re in a better mood with less anxiety. Then you\u2019ll be motivated to share a genuine moment with a new girl through that commonality.<\/p>\n

    Eventually, it\u2019ll be easier to\u00a0continue\u00a0that mindset\u00a0into daily life because of those positive reference experiences.<\/p>\n

    It\u2019s also important is to set limits for yourself. You don\u2019t need to hold some amazing conversation or go for a number once you talk to a girl.<\/p>\n

    Instead, commit to just saying hello using one of the intentions below. Make that your mark for success. Once you\u2019ve done that, you can walk away after 30 seconds or a couple minutes.<\/p>\n

    The point is to again take the pressure off of \u201cwinning\u201d and stop seeing women as conquests. This will reinforce that you\u2019re truly talking to this girl for honest\u00a0reasons.<\/p>\n

    Once you\u2019re introducing yourself to women consistently, then<\/em> you can start thinking about holding longer conversations.<\/p>\n

    Lead with better intentions to build the right mindset<\/h3>\n

    \"Connection<\/p>\n

    As I said earlier, you should approach because of\u00a0a\u00a0genuine desire to connect rather\u00a0than seeking approval. That\u2019s developed by being more mindful while doing social activities.<\/p>\n

    I want you to pay attention to\u00a0the people, environment, mood, and anything else going on.<\/p>\n

    When you do, your mindset will often shift to one of the following three connection-based intentions. And THIS\u00a0is what should drive you to say hello to someone.<\/p>\n

    Curiosity. <\/strong>Develop a sense of wonder when out and about. What\u2019s going on around you? What are people doing? Why are they there? How do they know each other? How do they like the activity? What\u2019s their opinion on what you\u2019re doing?<\/p>\n

      \n
    • You see a girl at swing dancing move effortlessly. You\u2019re\u00a0wowed by her pure skill. You ask, \u201cHow are you making this look so easy? How long have you been dancing for?\u201d<\/li>\n
    • I was at the beach during my retreat in Majorca, Spain. I saw a girl holding a book that had a dude jumping to his death from a building on the cover. I wanted to know what the heck it was about so I said, \u201cWow that cover is really<\/em> intense, what\u2019s the book about?\u201d<\/li>\n
    • You notice a girl taking photos using a mirrorless camera. You\u2019re into photography and have considered them. So why not ask, \u201cHey, I noticed you got a Fuji Mirrorless. I\u2019ve always used Canon DSLRs. How do you like it?\u201d From there you can discuss your photography habits, what you both like to shoot, and even ask to see some of her photos.<\/li>\n
    • Especially while traveling, I ask locals and other tourists for recommendations constantly. I ask about getting the best coffee, where to go dancing for the night, their favorite non-overpriced restaurant, or other hidden gems. This gets so many people excited to share their knowledge with you and start inquiring about your journey.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Excitement. <\/strong>Do you have a perspective you want to share? Do you know a cool fact or something insightful about what you\u2019re doing? Do you have a funny or humorous take on what\u2019s going on? Do you have an opinion on the food, music, or environment?<\/p>\n

        \n
      • You\u2019re at an art exhibit and some painting speaks to you. You turn to a girl and share, \u201cI\u2019m both amazed and absolutely terrified at her expression. I feel like she can see through my soul.\u201d<\/li>\n
      • Or maybe you know something interesting about the painting. Like you\u2019re looking at a Vermeer and you say to that girl, \u201cHave you seen the documentary Tim\u2019s Vermeer? They think Vermeer may have used mirrors and other tricks to meticulously trace his subjects.\u201d<\/li>\n
      • You\u2019re at a social event where they\u2019re serving hors d\u2019oeuvres. You can turn to a girl next to you and say, \u201cThese bacon scallops are everything a man\u2019s ever dreamed of. You need to steal a few off the plate for me when she comes by again.\u201d<\/li>\n
      • You\u2019re at a bar and some guy is letting loose on the dance floor. You can tell a woman, \u201cThat guy literally gives no fucks what anyone thinks. I think he\u2019s found the key to eternal happiness.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        Giving value. <\/strong>Is somebody doing something you find impressive? Are they showcasing real talent? Do you like a girl\u2019s style? Do they have a sweet camera or backpack? Did they do something you found funny or courageous?<\/p>\n

          \n
        • On a hike, you see a girl sitting on a high ledge. You\u2019re afraid of heights and think she\u2019s really brave. \u201cYou have some serious guts. My heart\u2019s beating out of my chest just looking at you on the edge.\u201d<\/li>\n
        • You notice a girl sitting under a willow tree at the park overlooking the water. You feel like she picked the perfect area to chill out. You could share, \u201cI think you probably chose the most peaceful spot in this whole place.\u201d<\/li>\n
        • I wrote about this a long time ago. I saw a girl at the mall trying to choose between different headbands and she couldn\u2019t make up her mind. I thought one she had was much better than the others so I wanted to help her out. I said, \u201cGo with the butterflies, they looked way better on you.\u201d<\/li>\n
        • You\u2019re playing bar trivia and the girl at the next table is crushing it. You could tell her, \u201cYou\u2019re seriously making us look bad! Who let the Jeopardy champion in here?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

          You can even practice these in your own head before actually committing to them. What matters is starting to build\u00a0these intentions when seeing new people you want to talk to.<\/p>\n

          \u2014<\/p>\n

          Do these all seem too simple and obvious? That\u2019s because they are.<\/p>\n

          And that\u2019s the point! They work and you don\u2019t need anything more elaborate to start engaging new people.<\/p>\n

          You don\u2019t need some super suave or perfect introduction. Being genuinely passionate and connected to what you\u2019re saying is what makes you most desirable. Women can feel when you\u2019re saying things from a good place and not just trying to bullshit to gain their interest.<\/p>\n

          Most importantly, you\u2019ll feel like what you\u2019re doing is completely healthy and normal. That\u2019ll put you in the right mindset to consistently approach and organically discover what to say.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

          Being able to introduce yourself to new people is arguably the biggest determining factor in a man\u2019s dating success. This one ability does so much for you. If you say hi to one new person a month, you have one chance of making a connection. Say hi to five people and you\u2019ve drastically weighed the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":314,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-313","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-featured"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=313"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":315,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313\/revisions\/315"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/314"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=313"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=313"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readymadewebsiteshop.com\/WomenFashionBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=313"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}